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By Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE
and David Palmer, PhD, MBA, CPA
Why do people say 'yes'? How can we get them to comply
with our requests? I asked my Fripp Associate David Palmer, PhD, MBA, CPA, an expert on negotiations and marketing. David Palmer has read more business books and managements books than any other person I have ever met; without hesitation he always refers to the best book to help anyone in their career is Robert Cialdini's Influence: Science and Practice. Enjoy my interview. You next logic step is to buy Dr. Cialdini's book.
"Fortunately, people often say 'yes' or agree with requests
out of mindless compliance," David told me. "They are frequently willing
to say 'yes' automatically without thinking first. It makes their lives
simpler and smoother. But what most of us are trying to overcome is
the opposite phenomenon, when they've programmed themselves to say 'no'
without thinking about it.
"Here's where the emotional triggers come in. Researcher
Robert Cialdini at Arizona State University describes the 'Six Weapons
of Influence,' as he calls them, in his book, Influence, Science
and Practice (Allyn & Cacon, 2000)."
1. RECIPROCATION - "The Old Give and Take--and Take"
All of us are taught we should find some way to repay
others for what they do for us. Most people will make an effort to avoid
being considered a moocher, ingrate, or person who does not pay their debts.
This is an extremely powerful tactic and can even spur
unequal exchanges. In one experiment, for example, half the people attending
an art appreciation session were offered a soft drink. Afterwards, all
were asked if they would buy 25-cent raffle tickets. Guess what? The
people who had been offered the soft drinks purchased twice as many
raffle tickets, whether or not they had accepted the drinks!
You probably already use this principle, but it is much
stronger than you suspect. You can build a sense of indebtedness in
someone by delivering a number of uninvited "first favors" over time.
They don't have to be tangible gifts. In today's world, useful information
is one of the most valuable favors you can deliver.
2. COMMITMENT AND CONSISTENCY - "Hobgoblins of the Mind"
Once people have made a choice or taken a stand, they
are under both internal and external pressure to behave consistently
with that commitment. This desire for consistency offers us all a shortcut
to action as we recall a previous decision we have already made.
When you can get someone to commit verbally to an action,
the chances go up sharply that they'll actually do it. For example,
before starting your next meeting, ask each person to commit to following
the posted agenda. Then, if anyone goes off on a tangent, just ask them
to explain how it fits the agenda. If they can't, they'll quickly fall
back in line.
3. SOCIAL PROOF - "Truths Are Us"
We decide what is correct by noticing what other people
think is correct. This principle applies especially to the way we determine
what constitutes correct behavior. If everyone else is behaving a certain
way, most assume that is the right thing to do. For example, one of
the important, and largely unconscious, ways we decide what is acceptable
behavior on our current job is by watching the people around us, especially
the higher-ups or old timers.
This principle of influence kicks in even more strongly
when the situation is uncertain or people aren't sure what to do. When
you can show them what others like them believe or are doing, people
are more likely to take the same action. (The mass suicides among the
Heavens Gate followers in Southern California and the people in Jonestown
are horrible examples of the negative power of this principle.)
On the positive side, product endorsements are the most
obvious application of the Social Proof. If you want someone to do something
for you, be sure to let them see that many other people are already
doing it or are willing to do it. Show them that others like them (and
the more like them the better) believe in your product or are using
it.
4. LIKING: "The Friendly Thief"
People love to say 'yes' to requests from people they
know and like. And people tend to like others who appear to have similar
opinions, personality traits, background, or lifestyle. More people
will say 'yes' to you if they like you, and the more similar to them
you appear to be, the more likely they are to like you.
Most people are also phenomenal suckers for flattery,
even when they know it isn't true. When we have a good opinion of ourselves,
we can accept praise and like those who provide it. (Those with low
self-esteem reject even well-earned praise and distrust the source.)
All salespeople worth their salt have mastered the flattery tactic.
They know it works, but they may not know why.
People also tend to like and trust anything familiar.
The best way to build this familiarity is to have frequent, pleasant
contacts. For example, if you spend three hours straight with someone
you've never met before, you would get a sense of who they are. But
if you divided the same time into 30-minute segments of pleasant interaction
over six consecutive weeks, you would each have a much stronger and
positive knowledge about the other. You have established a comfort level,
familiarity, and a history with them. Their repeated pleasant contacts
with your organization's services or products helps builds familiarity
and liking.
5. AUTHORITY: "Directed Deference"
Most of us are raised with a respect for authority, both
real and implied. Sometimes, people confuse the symbols of authority
(titles, appearance, possessions) with the true substance.
Some people are more strongly influenced by authority
than others, and compliance can vary according to the situation . For
example, it's 11:00 PM, and the doorbell rings. Two men in police uniforms
want to come in and ask you some questions. Most people respect such
authority enough that they would comply, even though the Constitution
says they don't have to. But if it was 3:00 AM and the men were in street
clothes, claiming to be detectives, most of us would hesitate. The men
would have to overcome our resistance with more proofs of their authority
like badges or a search warrant.
You can put this general principle to use by citing authoritative
sources to support your ideas. Look and act like an authority yourself.
Be sure others know that your education and experience supports your
ideas. Dress like the people who are already in the positions of authority
that you seek.
6. SCARCITY: "The Rule of the Few"
Nearly everyone is vulnerable to some form of the principle
of scarcity. Opportunities seem more valuable when they are less available.
Hard-to-get things are perceived as better than easy-to-get things.
For example, the object you've almost decided to buy
is out of stock. The salesperson offers to check their other stores.
And guess what? A store across town has one left! Do you buy it? Of
course!
Whenever appropriate, you can use the Scarcity Principle.
Refer to limited resources and time limits to increase the perceived
value of the benefits of helping or working with you. The possibility
of losing something is a more powerful motivator than of gaining something.
Let others (a customer, your boss, a lover) know what they will be losing
if they don't say 'yes' to your offer.
The Six Weapons of Influence are incredibly powerful
and can be combined in many ways. Use them whenever you approach people
you want to influence. (And be sure to read Professor Cialdini's book,
Influence: Science, and Practice. you'll find it most entertaining
as well enlightening.)
(1,305 words)
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